Saturday, August 06, 2005

We All Knew It Would Eventually Come To This

Sope, here 'tis, an easier to digest form of my writing:


BILL:I just don't get it...

ANDY:Don't get what now?

BILL:I mean, I'm smart, reasonably attractive, often times hilarious, and yet, I just terminally can't get laid. Why is that?

ANDY:Eeeeh, maybe's it's your shitty job, or your even shittier social skills. Maybe it's your professed fear of phone calls that last more than 90 seconds. Hell, it might even be your borderline autistic disinterest in other people.

BILL:Yeah, I guess, but all that type of shit seems too typical. I wanna have problems that are much more complex, something more nuianced. I don't want these blatent, every day moron type problems. I like the romantic notion that I'm some kind of culture warrior rebelling against whatever the current repressive cultural millieu is. I want to be a loser for all the right reasons, none of this bargin basement shit. I want my current state to be a noble choice, not just some sad, pathetic tale of woe.

ANDY:Again, EEEEH, I don't think it really matters. Basically, all attempted "noble" efforts of the past have essentially just been a ploy to get laid. Everything artistic, creative, any type of grab for power, it's all about just trying to get chicks. That's why chicks are never really a dominant force in art or politics or the business world or whatever. Ya know, it's just too easy for them to get laid.

BILL:Well what about gay guys, it's insanely easy for them to get laid. How come they still produce so much good art?

ANDY:Well, I wouldn't call Pansy Division great art, but you have to take into account that gay guys have always been hated and relegated to AT BEST second class status. Any of type of repression like that usually leads to good art.

BILL: But aren't women second class citizens as well?

ANDY:It depends on how you define power. Basically, as outlined before, guys want power so as to get laid. Women, they already have that power. How can they be truly second class if they wield that much power?

BILL:I dunno, this sounds kind of stupid and regressive.

ANDY:Just think about your situation, for example. How much power do you have in the area of getting laid?

BILL:Well... not much, I guess.

ANDY:Exactly, it's the women that are sitting on the throne. They control the sex, so they are the masters, or mistresses, if you will, of everything. All that 60's talk of women being second class citizens was just pure bullshit. It was them wanting to have their cake and eat it to. They still wanted to be those sexual objects, yet they wanted to conquer the traditional male ways of being sexually desirable as well.

BILL:Fucking stupid, this is just blatent sexism now. Furthermore, not all women are all that attractive. What about ugly girls, WHAT ABOUT UGLY GIRLS?

ANDY:Well, they have ugly GUYS to push around.

BILL:God, no wonder I can't get any girl to come within a ten foot radius of me, you scare 'em all away.

ANDY:Please, you know as well as any one else that girls LOVE a guy that hates all women. Why? Because they hate themselves. Women are all crazy. They get the world handed to them on a silver platter, it's just too easy. They say they wanna be equal, so why don't they actually just DO IT. They need to start really competing with men. If they ever want to stop hating themselves they need to throw themselves into the fire, they need to reject female priviledge and at least TRY and run with the big dogs.

BILL:So fucking stupid. Women ARE doing that now, they are making serious inroads everywhere.

ANDY:Yeah, that's true, but they've still got a long way to go. Have you ever met a truly hilarious woman in your life? How many girls do you know that are obsessed with video games? How about girls with really good record collections?

BILL:I know a few.

ANDY:Are they ugly girls?

BILL:Yeah, maybe...

ANDY:And have you ever really had a really intellegent conversation with a girl about sociology or culture? How many girls do you know that have a really good grasp on the intricate nature of interpersonal communication?

BILL:The one therapist of mine had a pretty decent understanding of such things. Beyond that though, maybe I just suck and I don't really KNOW any cool girls.

ANDY:No, it's more like you just don't hold your female friends up to the same exacting standards that you do with guys. They get a pass, you don't expect them to run with the big dogs. You like having them around not because they're interesting people, but just because you want to fuck them.

BILL:Fuck, you almost kind of have HALF a point here, but the rest of it is just buried in hatred of all womankind. And I mean, the god's honest truth is that I barely think ANYone is all that interesting of a person, at least not on a one to one basis. I find stuff like mass trends and personality types to be much more interesting. Everyone is a fucking cliche, it's all just repetition and I find it infuriating that people are so inable to break out of their bullshit. Even with people in the punk community. They are supposed to be all about rebellion, but by this point things have really gelled into a pretty firm set of rules. It's still rebellious in a way, but it's all this first generation type of thought. Nothing really goes all that in depth and people don't seem to realize that their new systems of thought are just as rife with problems as the old ones they rejected. Basically, humanity is always gonna be disfunctional and just as soon as we fix and old problem, something else is gonna pop up to make us miserable. We will always find newer, smarter ways to make our lives a living hell. I mean, essentially, I think that's my problem, I'm still involved in the punk community, when the truth is that I've outgrown it. Actually, it's not that I've outgrown it, it's more of an issue of me having moved up to the next level, when everybody else is still stuck on the old shit. The scene is basically me when I was 18, and boy lemme tell ya, I've grown up a lot since then.

ANDY:Again you're talking all this "rebellious" shit. Who gives a fuck about rebelling all the time? Ever since the ad agencies locked onto that type of stuff it's all just been passe. Live your life, but forget about trying to rebel, it's already been co-opted.

BILL:Bullshit, rebellion is a natural part of any moral person's life. You fight FOR the good thinks and you fight AGAINST the bad things. That's what rebellion is, it's that struggle against the negative, soul crushing aspects of life.

ANDY:Well, maybe, but in that context it seems like a pretty simple mechanism. I thought you were against such rudimentry personality traits.

BILL:Yeah, I am against stuff like. But you have to understand that rebellion, it's like the first chapter of a book. It's neccessary for setting the proper tone and what the major conflicts are, but if yer gonna be living a satisfying intellectual life, you have to read several more chapters in. I fancy myself more of Chapter 8 fellow or something. Heh heh, I didn't like all that sexist stuff you were saying before because it was like Chapter 2 type of shit. Move forward, dude. You KINDA, MAYBE had a little bit of a point, but it was still entrenched in too much old style monkey brain BS.

ANDY:What the hell are you even talking about?

BILL:Exactly... Let's go get drunk.

ANDY:Now there's something I can understand.