Tuesday, August 23, 2005

"The Jesus of Failure"? More like "The King of All Assholes".

So a few weeks ago, some one on The Goner Board made a comment about how my shit just isn't controversial. This is just a dumb statement; of course there's controversy. Sometimes that's ALL there is. I mean, back home, I was hated for YEARS for saying some of this shit.

At this point in time I prolly qualify as a "post-asshole", but I still offend people right & left. Sure, it's not on some simplistic, knee-jerk level anymore, but that whole slant is still quite pressent in almost everything I lay down. Much like the nihilistic Wonder Showzen , I pride myself on being to alienate EVERYone EVERYwhere. Take no prisoners, win no allies. I just simply REFUSE to tow anyone's personal line of bullshit, including my own.

With that in mind, here is a guide to some of the most controversial pieces I've written. With each of these, I've both gained and lost friends. I've created enemies that I've then won over just to alienate again(and so on)...


This one alienated people, SPECIFIC people, on a couple different levels. First of all, a few girls thought I was talking directly about them in the part where I say, "It's annoying though, just recently I've realized that all my best writing spurts have really just been spurred on by whatever girl I was having melodrama with at that very moment." They got even more angry when I explained that I was just using that as a device to lend a dramatic undercurrent to things. I've admitted plenty of times that there's a certain amount of lies and bullshit in the stuff I write. Everybody does it, it's never 100% true. Also, that specific "Frankie" girl I mention read all of that stuff and well, I can understand why she hates me.

People told me to fuck off for this one as well when I first wrote it. About four people thought I was specifically talking about them, but really it was more about a pretty broad social trend that I'd witnessed a lot of at the time.

The Kinda Boyfriend spiel chessed off a decent number of people as well; people that were IN those exact type of interactions. "
Essentially, the 'kinda' relationship is basically just a FORMALIZED unhealthy relationship. A 'kinda girlfriend' is just a BAD girlfriend."

That same group of people were equally angered by the Semi-Ex post as well, because it dealt with the same type of stuff. "
It's like they tell themselves, 'Oh, I put so much effort into getting close with this person, and it's so hard for me to connect to someone else, so now even though things have gone sour, I need to maintain this relationship.' Now, this is ALMOST a good idea, but the thing IS, when you BREAK UP...you actually have to BREAK UP. You can't go from being a couple and being in love to being 'just friends' within the course of a few days."

The first time I ever got drunk rant inspired over a 100 posts of Clint hate. I deserved it...

More recently, I'm sure I lost more than a few my space buddys when I put up the Top 10 Sins of Rip Off thing. It might seem harsh to some, but it's the truth. I love Greg, it's just sad that he's not a major, influencing part of the community anymore. Don't give up on the rock'n'roll.

Even though I explain my reasons for talking about TV in this post there were still a number of people who gave me shit for writing about such "mainstream" stuff. "
comedy is a different beast than music. There are hundreds upon thousands of bands and it's just natural to narrow things down into a specific sub-group and concentrate on that. With comedy though, maybe one 20th the amount of people are involved in creating this stuff. The fraternity of gifted comedy writers is a small, small group."

Here's one of the few instances on this blog of me directly replying to someone that I'd pissed off: click here

Almost all of the Rip Off columns stirred up a lot of shit, but this one was definetly the worst. It's pretty much the clearest example of me being a total douchebag. I definetly lost some friends over this one, but I think I won 'em all back later, hard to say...

People also had trouble with THE NEW HATE . See if you can find the part that made them mad. Heh heh, I know FOR CERTAIN that I permanently fucked up some friendships over that one. Oh well....

The line about "heat seeking missiles locked on on the path of pure mediocrity" really got under people's skin in this post . But hey, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke...

God damn, there really are a lot of these. I'm starting to understand why people can't stand my guts, heh heh. Anyway, one of the biggest shit storms I ever stirred up was over my rejected Blank Gen column . It's prolly one of the mainer reasons that I was not asked to be a part of Terminal Boredom(that's a joke there, in case any one missed it).

Well over 200 people on various different message board chimed in with how much they hated the telling friends their band sucks thing. I actually even got confronted about it a lot in real life as well. I think I was forced to tell like half a dozen friends what I ACTUALLY thought of their shitty bands... Fuck 'em if they can't take some simple, mean spirited criticism.

ANYWAY, I think that's enough for now..... See ya later, douchebags