Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Mission Statement

Here's my second Rip Off column. This is where I really distinguished it from the Blank Gen stuff. It's basically my bullshit bad attitude mixed with the official "Rip Off Records Attitude"... As time went on, these columns became more and more just pure bullshit. A lot of people liked them. Yeah, the more blatently negative and dark I got, the more people liked it. Heh heh, girls dug the Blank Gen stuff and guys liked the Rip Off drivel.

Anyway, here 'tis:

Okay, losers, here be my latest Rip Off column. I'd start it off with some
kind of clever quote or something, but I'm trying to develop some new gimics for this column. Ya know, so as to not just repeat my crap. The first real "difference" will be that these Rip Off fuckers ain't gonna be
nearly as long as the bizantinian (is that even a word?) death marches to the
sea that my Blank Gen columns are. Also, I plan on actually trying to talk
about rock'n'ROLL here and not the meandering, exisitential BS that chokes all
fun out of my usual columns. Also, I'll do two a month instead of one

The first weapon in my "battle" to fight off my own boring-ness is that I
shall be accepting records for review. Yes, you want your band's shitty CD demo reviewed by the website of the greatest record company currently in existance? Then feel more then free to send me whatEVER at:(address erased)

I promise to that EVERYthing I get WILL be reviewed, although, obviously, it
probably ain't gonna be a good review.

Having said that, lets get into the meat of this fucker(ouuuuu, there's my
first new catch-phrase). Now is a time much unlike any other time in the past.
Well, not really, but let's just pretend it is. Now is a time when perception
not only EFFECTS reality, it doesn't INFLUENCE reality, now is a time when
perception IS reality. "Actual" reality doesn't matter anymore, public opinion,
what people THINK is real, THAT is reality nowadays.

Take for example this "war" we're in. First of all, WHO are we fighting?
Afganistan? Haven't we beat them already? Ya know, they have that new
government thing in place now. And how can it be a "war" if only ONE american
soldier died in combat? More americans have died in helicopter malfunctions in
this "war". More americans have been killed by OTHER americans in this
"war"(friendly fire, anyone?). HOW exactly is this a "war"? A war against
TERRORISM? Ummmm, yeah.....wait, WHO are we fighting? WHY is this exactly a war?

And yet, people say again and again that we are "AT WAR" right now. What in
the fuck are they talking about? Obviously, now is a time when ACTUAL reality
doesn't matter in the slightest. REAL, ACTUAL, GENUINE reality just doesn't
factor into the equation any more. We are living in an era where the spin,
where hype, where lies and BS manipulation have TAKEN CONTROL. We are
GENERATION MINDFUCK, our only gods are the add men. There are our leaders, they tell us what to think and well, we think it. "PR" no longer stand for "public relations", it now stands for ummmm "the Producers of Reality"(sorry, I tried to come up with something clever-er, but "the Producers of Reality" was the best I could do).

In a climate like this, what are our options? Do we reject the bullshit, do
we reject the manipulation? Do we try and stop them from fucking with our
heads? Well, YEAH, we do, but since now is a much more cerebral time, since the enemy is that much more coy and SLICK, we have to fight them on their level. WE have to become smarter, turn ourselves into better manipulators. We have to make the hype and propaganda work FOR us. There's no going back, we can't resort to simplistic "truth" and "honesty". HYPE is the atom bomb of our
generation, and we have to take control of it.

How do we do this? How do we fuck with people's heads, how do we get them
to buy our bullshit wholeheartedly? Well, it's not all that hard, most people
are pretty stupid and easy to manipulate. You have to play to their emotions,
make them "FEEL" your "cause". Movies have been doing it for ever. You have to target to their insecurities, make them feel stupid if they don't support you.
Most people are very insecure about their intellegence level, and it's real easy
to yank them around by that chain. Make them feel as if they are the ONLY one
who doesn't know about you(or whatever), as if they are the ONLY person that
doesn't support this idea or cause. No wants to feel LONELY, they all want to
be accepted, just play on that and you'll get results.

Next, don't be afraid to piss people off, in fact, TRY and piss people off.
That's playing to their emotions just as much as anything else. As I said, the
primary key to manipulating people is to target their emotions. If you get
people all EMOTIONAL, they won't be thinking straight, and you can get away with all sorts of shit. Fer instance, going back to this 9/11 crap, did anyone
NOTICE a couple months back when that report came out that said old Bushy
actually DIDN'T win the election in ANY way what so ever? Didn't win the popular vote, didn't win Florida, didn't win SHIT. WHY hasn't much of any one NOTICED this, why hasn't it been a HUGE fucking deal? Because people are all busy being whipped into this blind, idiotic, patriotic frenzy. It you can peopel to STOP thinking, you can get away with anything.

In a sane, rational world, the fact that our "president" didn't even WIN
election WOULD be a big deal. But like I said, that AIN'T the world we live in,
we live in a world where our reality is just lies. Yes, LIES are the only truth
anymore. And IN that environment, there could BE no more perfect leader then a man that did NOT actually win the election. It's all just fundimentally a LIE.
It started back in the 50's or so, when the PR industry merged with politics and
it's evolved to this present point where, as I said, ACTUAL reality just has NO
bearing anymore. Generarion Mindfuck.................

Emotion, insecurites, THIS is what THEY target, and sadly, nowadays, it is
what WE must target. Psychological warfare is the only kind of warfare left.
Even the nightly news nowadays, with this whole "war" thing, they report and
treat the latest PR campaigns with as much seriousness and importance as they do bombing raids. They know it, we know it. They're lying to us, trying to
manipulate us, they essentially just outright adMIT it. As I've repeated a
couple times here now, we need to take up "arms" against them.

We need to try and piss people off, seVERELY piss people off. If we aren't
getting death threats, then we aren't doing something right. If no one hates
us, then what's the point? Pro-wrestling has been working this concept for
decades and has earned assloads of money off of it. Currently, the richest,
most popular wrestlers are the one that can work the mic the best, the one that
can stir up peoples emotions the best. The ones that can target those
insecurities, those weaknesses, the ones that can FIND those buttons and PUSH
them. They are MILLIONARES because of this. They are "great" because they have mastered the ART of the mindfuck.

Call people stupid, call them losers, you can work off the negative end of
things just as easily as you can the positive. Talk yourSELF up, make it sound
as though you are the greatest thing ever to walk the earth. It doesn't matter
if you don't believe it, it doesn't matter if THEY don't believe it at first.
Just keep on saying it, and eventually, people will start to believe it. How in
the FUCK do you think a crap band like Blink 182 ever sold millions of records?
Talent-wise, they're about at the level of that crummy NOFX knock off band from down the street that's only been together for six months. And yet I've heard lots of people on TV talking about how they like them. HOW are now considered a "good" band by large numbers of people? Well, first of all, everyone ELSE likes them, so why don't YOU? All your FRIENDS think they're great. Three million people CAN'T be wrong.

Again, as with everything else, it doesn't MATTER what the actual REALITY of the matter is, all that matters is what people THINK, how they perceive things.
Blink 182 is perceived as a "good" band, and as such, that is how people see

Reality doesn't matter, just fucking SELL yourself as something, repeat it
over and over again enough times and eventually someone somewhere will start to believe it. Come up with some BS set of rules, it doesn't matter what they say or if they're "good" rules or "bad" rules. Just come up with some set of rules and say it out loud and SOMEone, SOMEwhere will follow them. Going back to wrestling thing, RVD said for years that he was the greatest wreslter ever, and well, people believe him now. As long as your "talents" are at least above average, there ARE people that will buy it.

Sure, a lot of this is stupid, blatent stuff that NO ONE would EVER fall
for, but you'd be surprised, people DO buy it. If you just throw in some kind
of emotional ploy, if you can get people to STOP thinking and just make them
blindly emotional, then theres no limit to what you can accomplish. And I mean,
most people don't think all that much to begin with, so it's not that hard to
get them to stop thinking. People are lazy, play into that. Most people would
MUCH rather believe a blatent lie as opposed to a TRUTH that would require them to get off their ass and dedicate a lot of effort to something. Fuck, just look at all the stupid bullshit the government craps out, people buy THAT shit hook line and sinker, no matter HOW stupid is, no matter the fact that any average intellegence 16 year old can easily see through their petty lies and

Fuck with people's heads, lie to them, manipulate them, play on their
emotions, play on their laziness, try and get them to stop thinking, THAT's what
life is about nowadays. Honestly and Nobility NEVER really existed, so don't
worry about that. Just fucking lie to them

MORAL OF THE STORY:Generation Mindfuck......what more need I say?

email any and all comments/hatemail to: crparson at

The worst part about that column is, even through all the bullshit, I still kinda had a good point there. Oh fuck, we really ARE living in odd times.....